Welcome to corporate Nigeria, Adedolapo

I was also finally introduced to my role. My job description was rather expansive, it included sales, customer service, front desk, admin, facility management and occasional cleaning of the office.

I got a call late in the evening from an “uncle” to go to Sanusi Fafunwa for an interview in the morning of the next day. “Where is Sanusi Fafunwa?” I asked. I must have sounded dumb as he responded, taken aback, “off Akin Adesola ''. I proceeded to follow up with another question, “where is Akin Adesola?”.  Now he was confused, “in VI nah!”. Who could blame me, I was fresh off the boat from “Ilu Oke”, and this was my second time in Lagos. I only knew a handful of places, Ikeja, Lekki, Festac and where I lived at the time, Okokomaiko. 

I did not remember to ask what the job was about, I just felt lucky to score an interview in a company in VI. I daydreamed about how I was going to impress the interviewer, get the job, get promoted within 3 months and rise up the corporate ladder at an astonishing pace.

Woke up as early as 4am and left the house by 5am. Didn’t dare to be late;  I needed to make the right impression; remember my daydream of hitting it big. Took four buses and the last one landed me at Ajose Adeogun roundabout. At about 7am, I had an hour to spare. I was smelling off by this time, all thanks to the fumes and other smell hazards on the buses; I wished I had taken with me some deodorant or perfume. After enquiring, I was directed to Sanusi Fanfunwa street and all I had to do was find the office number. Well, it turned out not to be that easy.

It had rained heavily a night before and the street was flooded. It was impossible to walk on without getting soaked up to your knees, and if you are short, it could just reach your belly. There was no bike in sight or other means of crossing, I was stuck. Then I noticed from the corner of my eye an interesting transaction; some young men were helping people cross the pool of water by backing them. Seeing this at that time was mind blowing; this later became a norm for me. The Lagos flood will humble you. I approached them and bargained with one of them to take me across. I paid one hundred naira for the ride. I thought about updating my mode of transportation to include a human back. There might just be a need to update the primary school curriculum on this.

So, I removed my shoes, hiked up my skirt, jumped on his back, tucked my bag between me and my rider and we were on our way. The back ride took about two minutes but felt like forever. I was worried we would fall into the muddy water and ruin my chances of getting the job. The back rider delivered me safely in front of the building without incident and went on his way to help more people get into their offices.

I was no longer looking presentable, but at least I was early. That should count for something. 

We were four waiting at the reception to be interviewed, all ladies. It was at this point that I realised that I did not know the role. I moved close to one of the candidates, to ask what job she was here for. She looked at me, grimaced and said “why do you want to know?”. I replied, “sorry o”. 

I resolved to call on my aluta spirit of Great Ife and decided to wing it. After about one hour of waiting, I was called in to see the interviewer. They were two well dressed men in their mid forties sitting at the end of a long table looking intently at me as I walked in. My heart skipped several beats and my palms were sweaty, I instantly became self conscious; my aluta spirit was failing me. “Please sit down,” one of them said. I perched on the edge of the chair nervously and placed my hands on my laps.

“Please tell us about yourself” I was asked.  I had practised for this question and I was ready. “My name is Adedolapo and the first of 6 children, I’m a graduate of psychology from the Obafemi Awolowo University Ile Ife”. I went on for about 5 minutes, pausing only to breathe. 

I was not so prepared for the second question. I was to sell a refrigerator to an eskimo living at the North Pole . I immediately guessed that the role must be in sales and must entail selling something people do not have any need for. 

“Well,” I started,  “Mr eskimo, good day. I have come up with a solution that will solve your food problem of getting cold and freezing when you just need it fresh. With a fridge, you can regulate the temperature and have power over your food preservation.” 

“Is that all?” one of the interviewers asked. I said yes, not sure of what else I could say. I looked up, trying very hard to rack my brain for any reserved wisdom I could pull out when I heard, “thanks for coming, we will reach out to you in the coming week”. I left with a heavy heart and was sure I was not going to hear back from them.

Two weeks later, while watching my daily dose of Africa Magic Yoruba, I got a call from the VI company, telling me I got the job. I was more surprised than happy, especially because I still did not know what the job was and I truthfully did not expect to get the job after my lacklustre performance at the interview. I suspected my “uncle” had  a say in it. 

I resumed a week after I got the news. Wore my Sunday best and kept an extra two hundred naira in case I needed a back ride to the office. I was ready to do my best and leave the rest. 

On my first day, I was introduced to the owner of the business and he was one of the two men that interviewed me about a month ago. He was not as impressive, up close. He spoke brashly and jesticulated too often; it was distracting and I was often carried away by his hand movements.

I was also finally introduced to my role. My job description was rather expansive, it included sales, customer service, front desk, admin, facility management and occasional cleaning of the office. “Wow” I thought. This is corporate slavery! My uncle did not do me well at all. 

I was asked to pick up my offer letter from the MD’s office before I left for the day. I picked it up just before closing from work. I was eager to see how much the offer was, so I went straight to the restroom, tore open the envelope and scanned through quickly for the salary figure. It was at the centre of the page, N50,000, nothing more, nothing less. Initially I thought a zero was missing until I read it in words, fifty thousand naira only. I had a host of emotions from shock to anger to disbelief. Most of all, I was disappointed. The money barely covered my transport from Okokomaiko and my feeding . 

I knew there and then that there was no corporate ladder to be climbed here and I had to move before I’m stuck in a dead end job with absolutely no prospect. 

I left the office on my first day deeply troubled and unhappy. I resolved to improve my aptitude test passing skills to get into one of the banks and then climb that coveted  corporate ladder. 

Lessons

The informal sector still has a long way to go in Nigeria. A lot of its processes are below standard. Vibrant graduates see this sort of place as a place where careers go to die. 

Small to medium owners, we can do a lot better. Let’s stop corporate slavery!